Journey of a Jeweler

a journey into fashion decorating style and life with jeweler lisa lehmann

Lisa Lehmann Designs, formerly StudioJewel

parenting

Thoughts on aging and what I would tell my younger self

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I no longer have a baby or a toddler. That became painfully obvious when my smallest person came out of school yesterday sporting THIS t-shirt!


In our home there are no preschoolers. No longer kids in elementary school! 

So why do I identify MY age with the age of my kids?

If I had a toddler would I feel younger? 
Do I need to to feel younger?
Why is so much focused on ones age?
Why do I focus on that?
Why does age matter?

I was analyzing my face the other day. I AM aging. It happens. It’s inevitable. Go figure!

But why do I / we fear it?

I decided I love my smile lines and the wrinkles around my eyes. It proves there has been profound joy in my life.

I will embrace the furrowed lines.  It reminds me of the battles I’ve walked through. 

I admit, I cringe at the grey hair in my bangs. For some reason that one gets me all undone. What do I do? I pull them out! Bad idea. They grow back. Not grey. WHITE. And they stick out all funny.

But really what would I tell myself looking back? At 18? 25? 30? even 35? What do I tell my girls?
  • Fret less. Smile more.
  • You look dang good. And you will never look this good again!
  • Judge less. Others and yourself. You are so, so hard on yourself, please be more gentle.
  • You are uniquely you. There is NO ONE like you. And you are perfectly made and beautiful. 
  • Embrace your curly hair. It’s different then everyone else.
  • Accept who YOU are. You were created with a purpose that is yours and yours alone.
  • Love yourself – and others will do the same.
  • Eat healthy.
  • Exercise more.
  • Stay out of the sun. Protect your body as a temple that it is.
  • Chase your dreams. All of them. Never accept status quo.
  • Be kind.
  • Be compassionate.
  • Love others deeply.
  • Think less of who you are and more about others.
  • Those woman older than you? They have wisdom to impart. Learn from them.
Back to the aging part. Why does the fact that I have teenagers make me feel old?  At this rate, I will feel ANCIENT if they ever get married and {{gasp}} have children!  And really, that’s stupid!

So basically, this is a letter to myself. 

Telling myself to SUCK IT UP. 
Telling myself to get over it. 
And telling myself that I am beautiful TODAY and at every age. 

Why?
Because I am working on the beauty on the INSIDE.  

Yes, I take care of the outside. But come what may I AM going to age. 

However, if I focus on being beautiful on the inside.  On developing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control – then my beauty will show for all to see!!


And that kind of beauty? Well, that never grows old.
Just think if I had focused my energies there for the last 40 years?

Good thing it’s never too late.

Girl. You are insanely beautiful! 
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Now go.
Get your shine on!

xoxooxox
lisa

Taking pride in my children – how did they do with the move?

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Everyone takes some pride in their children. We would not be parents without it. Some pride is good…many forms of pride are unhealthy.

But when I was asked by Miranda how my kids did with the move from Michigan to Indiana? My first thought is how proud I am of them.

We haven’t been THOSE parents. We don’t believe our kids are the “best”, or the “brightest”, or the most beautiful. We don’t believe they are entitled to anything.

Yes, our expectations can be abnormally high at times…but we also expect failure along the way.

We want them to experience life as children…not as small people training for the 2020 Olympics. Children. Children that laugh and fall and make mistakes. Children that know how to play and play and play.

These four human beings we “created” are amazing to me. And I am proud of them. Especially with this move.

As they finish out the school year, I am reminded of what a traumatic year they have endured.

Yet. They held fast.

Friends and family left behind. A home left behind. A horse left behind. A life of being “somebody” in a place where they were known, or we were known. The familiar. The comfortable. All…left behind.

Sure we made the choice to move as a family. But…
They were literally thrust into NEW.

NEW school. NEW people. NEW surroundings. NEW church. NEW.
No real home. Nothing familiar. 

Sure we had each other. And we had a firm belief that this is exactly where God led us. But that belief was vastly tested at times.

There have been days of anger and frustration. Days of “this isn’t fair”.
Yet…they persevered.

The transfer from home school to a giant public school. Middle school for the first time. Mean girls. Bulliess. Academic testing. Proving of ones athleticism. Loneliness. Fear.
Yet….they carried on.

And then there is this tiny house with shared bedrooms and bathroom. The fight for ones own space. No place to ever just “be”.
Yet….they just did.

And they didn’t JUST get through it. They have thrived. They have accomplished so much. They have excelled academically. They have done well in sports. They have won awards. I am blown away.

These four human beings have taught me so much this year. They have taught me what it’s like to really have faith. To truly believe in what is unseen.
They have taught me to never give up.
They have taught me that there is hope for tomorrow.
And they have taught me to love more deeply.

Ages. 17. 16. 13. 11.
Who knew such wisdom and knowledge could be imparted by such youth?


Do not get me wrong! These children are not angels. In fact, they tick me off….regularly! But then again, they are kids. It’s their job. And they have a lot to learn.

But, as far as their persistence. As far as they have trusted US. As far as they have believed in a God who is in charge. They blow me away.

So yes. 
I am proud of you Noah, Anneke, Isabel and Tahlia. 
When I look at you I see a bright future. Not only for each of you, but for any who may have the privilege of coming into contact WITH you. 

Now do me a favor. Go clean up your rooms and be nice to each other!

Thank you Miranda for the question, for forcing me to process and think. If you have ANY question at all, please feel free to email me. We are friends right? And if I choose your question you will receive a $25 gift certificate to my store 🙂

love you to pieces,
lisa

A letter to mothers of small people – soon they will be teenagers

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How many times have you heard it?
“They grow up so fast.”
“Treasure this time, it will be over before you know it.”
These things are true. 
But I’m not here to tell you that. For one, because someone has already said it to you. And for two, because it drove me crazy. It still does!

What I do want to say to you is this. 
They are watching. 
They are listening. 
They are paying attention.

Again, I know you know this. But what does that really mean? 
It means you need to be diligent.
If you watch movies you wouldn’t let them see. Stop.

If words come out of your mouth you wouldn’t want them to say. Stop.

If you are rude to those serving you in restaurants, or the grocery store, or the bank because you are having a bad day….I get it. They don’t. 

If you choose to not put your cart away, because your hands are too full, or your baby is crying…it seems optional.

If you text your husband while driving, because he HAS to go do something right now for you. I know the urgency. They just know you are breaking the law.

If you can hardly stop laughing at the twitter translators out there…think. Would you want your 5 year old to read it out loud to you?

If you criticize your body…they will criticize theirs. If you criticize another persons body…so will they.

If you listen to music you wouldn’t want THEM to listen to. Stop. 
At what point do you think you will “switch gears” and no longer have it loaded on your iPod? 
Too late. They heard it.

Do you really want that sweet 8 year old belting out:

“Let’s go all the way tonight – No regrets, just love.”

or
“Nah, Walk up to the club like, “What up, I got a big c***!”

I’m so pumped about some s*** from the thrift shop

Ice on the fringe, it’s so d*** frosty

That people like, “D***! That’s a cold a** honkey.”

Really?

Kids don’t have discernment yet. They look to you as their guide posts.

I know you are an adult. I know that with adulthood comes the freedom to choose.
But sometimes we need to use that power, that freedom, to NOT choose.

This is not an “I’m so awesome here is how I raise my children” letter. This comes from my own hard learned mistakes. And what I would do if I had it all to do over again. Our youngest is almost 11, our oldest 17…but we still have some time. And we will make every sacrifice we have to.

Guaranteed we will mess up. 
Guaranteed so will they.

In that season of life where I was incredibly depressed….manically so…I made choices I am not proud of. I see some of the ramifications from that now. Some. 

Almost every weakness that we see in our kids can be traced back to something that we have done – or DO, or said, or allowed. Our freedom. Our choices.
People may say I am a cool mom. I am definitely not. 

I have told them before I love them fiercely, but I am their mother I am not their friend.
Not yet.

Our job is to protect them, to care for them, to raise them in order that eventually they will make responsible decisions on their own. My husband and I are now watching some of that beginning to unfold in front of our eyes. Teenagers!

For now. They are watching you. Closely.

So I am begging you to use your freedom to make good choices. Not because you have to, but because you want to….for them.

I know this letter to you will not make me popular. In fact I expect the rolling of the eyes and the criticism. But if I had a younger sister, this is what I would tell her. Reality? I know she probably wouldn’t listen. How do I know this? Because I AM that younger sister.


Anyway, this was on my heart. It was in my head. Now it’s in print. 

Take it for what you will. 
Write it off if you want. 
Think I’m an idiot.

But, I shared because I had to. And because I care.

Love you,
lisa

Sunday Reflection

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It made me step back. It literally took my breath away. As I walked through the steps of my nightly routine I didn’t expect this.
I check on my kids before I go to bed…tuck in body parts, kiss heads, change radio stations…nothing terribly exciting. It’s just what I do. But tonight was different.
That leg crazily sticking out from under her sheets. That could NOT be Tahlia’s leg…she must have swtiched bunks with her big sister. My baby is NOT that big. But she is…and it stopped me in my tracks.
I gently tucked THAT growing leg back under the sheets wondering how she could have gotten so big. My heart ached for the days gone by. They’re gone. I can’t get them back.
I curled up next to her warm little body, carressing her hair and gently kissing her cheek my breath steadily in time with hers. And then the tears began to flow….cascading from my cheeks to hers. Not because she is growing up. No, I love that part. She is a beautiful 8 year old, inside and out. But because I feel like I’m missing it. How can I miss something happening RIGHT before my eyes?
I hate that.
Reluctantly I tore myself away from her peaceful frame, stealing just one more kiss and breathing in her sweet little girl scent. I reached up to the top bunk and ran the back of my hand along my beautiful Bella’s cheek…then I sighed. I sighed so loud it surprised me.
Such treasures these girls are, along with my other two children. Such precious gifts from above.
And then I knew. In my heart and in my gut. Something has to change….in me.