Back to School time. My talented friend, artist, author and all around amazing person Cristine is guest posting on my blog today. I’m blessed to “share a wall” with her at my studio. We laugh daily. Her writing brings me to tears…the good kind. And after saying to her for the millionth time, “Cris, you should post this”, I’m just taking the liberty (with permission). If you have kids. If you’re in the middle of back to school. If you’re ready to start drinking at 7am. What? Mimosas people. You need to read this. Trust me. Cris is on “my list”. Read on and you will COMPLETELY understand.

Cristine Grimm began life as a performer. She sang before she talked, always wrote like a fiend, and dreamed of playing clarinet in a symphony. Until she grew up and got practical. Then came college, a degree, a management position at an obscenely young age, blah, blah blah. Marriage, motherhood, and a car accident around 40 changed everything, and a career as a jewelry artist and teacher began. Her jewelry business, SilverFire Studios, remains important, but now, at age Not-40, all the one dimensional focus feels pretty constrictive. As she told someone recently, her censor is on walkabout while her inner child throws a hissy fit in the corner. Time to embrace it all. Including that insistent writer’s voice left abandoned in a corner many years ago. Welcome to her world.

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For some reason I have free time, so I think I’ll write. Because in my world, free time usually means “take all the stupid, crazy, crap jobs you hate but have to do anyway because you’re a self-employed mom of teenagers who apparently doesn’t do anything” and insert them into the list.

You know The List. You have one. It’s the one you must keep but never gets done. The Revolv-a-List. This list doesn’t fit on a sticky note, no matter how small you write. This list makes you wish toilet paper were thicker, because that’s always where you are when you think up all the new stuff that’s not on the list. Except in my house, where your first thought in this situation is “Where’s the damn toilet paper????!!!!!”

So let’s assume that your list is on some sort of paper. Why? Because if your life is so organized that it fits in an electronic device that remains charged, and you actually have said device in your possession when it’s time to add to the list…I dislike you. Truly.

Simple. Quick. Nothing personal. Just capital D for Dislike.

Because in my world, free time usually means “take all the stupid, crazy, crap jobs you hate but have to do anyway because you’re a self-employed mom of teenagers who apparently doesn’t do anything” and insert them into the list.

If you’re in the category of women who usually have working electronics, either your kids are still little and cute, you were smart enough not to HAVE children, or you’re one of those permanently happy empty-nest moms who tell me to “treasure these moments because they grow up too soon”.  Doesn’t matter. I Dislike you. [Read more…] about How to survive back to school crazies with toilet paper and some disappearing ink. And wine.