It’s time. It’s time to let go. That’s what I am thinking as I watch motherhood flash before my eyes…again…and this time watch my oldest daughter pack her bags for college. It really is time. I say again, because I did this last year with the man-child.
It’s time to watch you take your first steps.
It’s time to let you hold the cup “all by yourself”.
It’s time to let you walk down the stairs.
It’s time to watch you skip.
It’s time for you to tie your shoes.
It’s time for you to pick out your own clothes.
It’s time for the tooth fairy to visit.
It’s time for you to read TO me.
It’s time to take off the training wheels.
It’s time to let you sing on stage.
It’s time to let you use my tools.
It’s time to leave you home alone.
It’s time to let you wear too much makeup and way too much perfume.
It’s time to let you make decisions.
It’s time to hand you the keys.
It’s time. It’s time to let you fly.
I remember the first time your eyes locked with mine while you snuggled nursing at my breast.
I remember the first time your tiny fingers curled around mine with a grip so tight I thought you would never let go.
I remember balancing you on my hip while doing countless chores around the house…your constant jabber keeping me company – and wearing me out.
I remember snatching you out of the path of your big brother as he always hurdled towards you with such force I knew he would knock you over. “Ah-kah. Ah-kah”.
I remember the first time you stood up to that big brother…and the last!
I remember the tenaciousness in your eyes when you set out to learn something new. Determined. Focused.
I remember the first time you jumped into a pool alone smiling fearlessly.
I remember when I caught you stamping your foot in utter defiance…eyes filled with fire.
I remember the first time you started singing even when you could barely pronounce the words.
I remember how many times you made me so angry I wanted to strangle you. Wait… was that yesterday?
I remember the constant arguments with you wondering if you were really going to be an attorney someday?
I remember the first time you borrowed my clothes.
I remember when you told me I was your best friend.
I remember looking at you and thinking you are the very best of me and the very worst of me packaged into one human being.
Now it’s time to let you go. To let you fly. To let you soar. And to let you sink. It’s time for you to go before we drive each other crazy. It’s time for you to be your own human being. It’s time.
And as you take off to pursue your dreams..the ones you created for YOUR self..the things that YOU want to do….I’m so thankful we didn’t push you to be a star athlete or rock star dancer or artist or singer. I’m so thankful for the years that I was able to homeschool and watched you develop an ability to think for yourself… motivate yourself…fall in love with reading and learning. I’m especially thankful for all the extra time I had with you at home…because now…I’m ready too. I’m ready to let you go.
I’m excited and happy and full of joy FOR you. Yes. I’ll miss you. But it’s ok, because we’ve worked towards this together.
And baby girl…the world is at your finger tips. You will dazzle it with your shine. So dream big and reach high but never forget to keep your feet grounded on what you know is truth.
And go. Go baby girl. Go shine like a diamond. I am so very proud of you.